Care

 Tell us a story about a time in your life when you needed and received care. What did this look and feel like? How did SYSTEMS play a role in your story--how were institutions caring or uncaring?

Care has always been a big part of my life. From a young age I was always told how caring I was towards those around me. I have always been the friend to the "new kid" or the friend that would run over to the person who fell and cut their knee on the playground. My mom and grammy always told me that I had a big heart and would often care TOO much, which I never thought was possible. Many years of caring for others and putting others needs before my own has been catching up to me lately. I am finally starting to learn how to show care to myself and let me tell you it is not easy. I have been on a self-love and self-care journey for a few years now and I am still working on how to take care of myself in every way as each day passes.

I think about care and how I show myself care often and there are many different ways I show myself care. There is self-care which includes taking care of my body physically, mentally and emotionally. I am constantly reminding myself to take care of these things because if I can't take care of myself in these ways how can I take care or teach others to take care of themselves. My needs come first. Another way I see care is surrounding myself with people that fill my cup rather than drain it. I was always afraid to lose friends and even family members but often times people can weigh on you emotionally and it can become too much to bear. One of the last ways I show care to myself is to remind myself that I am human, I can only do so much and that it is ok to make mistakes. Those are just some examples of affirmations I like to use and need to use every day to care for myself. 

There was one day recently when I was in a staff meeting and I was feeling overwhelmed and uninspired. I was open, honest and vulnerable in how I was feeling to my fellow colleagues, and I felt foolish telling them how I felt. In that moment I did not expect to be shown care, I expected to be laughed off or even agreed with and just to continue on with the meeting as normal. This was not the case, each and every person at the table showed me care in sharing their support of me and also sharing similar things that they were feeling. I was feeling very uninspired working at RIC and some of them were even feeling the same way. They all were able to share positive affirmations about me and were able to truly show that they care for me even without explicitly saying it. I didn't realize that I needed care in that moment, but I am so happy I received it. I do forget to show care for myself most days and sometimes you need others to show you care even when you least expect it. It was an amazing and beautiful feeling to know that I have people on my team that care for me even when I feel as though the institution I work for doesn't. I am grateful that my supervisor was able to derail from the meeting and let us care for each other and be vulnerable together.